Parting Thoughts I remain humbled on a near-daily basis by children, teens, and adults who demonstrate an ability to rise above challenges and maintain their spirit and optimism in the face of adversity. I am certain that those young people who do best, through good and bad times, are those who have parents who are deeply connected and who allow them to stumble and recover. Resilience is not invulnerability. Even if you could, you would not want to “grow” an invulnerable child or protect him or her from walking through every puddle. Compassion, generosity of spirit, and empathy are often developed from the lessons learned during life’s harsher moments. In fact, as your child goes through those times, celebrate his or her sensitivity. We are only as happy as our least happy child, but remind yourself that your momentarily sad or anx- ious child might be blessed with the depth of feelings that will ultimately lead her to be the caring, kind person you hoped to raise. I hope that this book has challenged you to come up with the kind of strat- egies that will fit your individual child or adolescent. When you revisit this book as your child grows, I hope it will reinforce what you already know about parenting and spur you to come up with approaches that I may have left out but would more perfectly meet your child’s needs. Have the confidence in your- self and the courage to trust your own instincts, to know that your knowledge of your child outweighs any opinion that I or any “expert” may offer. If I had to summarize the essence of resilience-building while standing on one foot, I think I would add a new C: caring. EE Care so deeply that your children know that you are crazy in love with them. EE Care so fervently that you hold them to high expectations to be good people—because they will rise to your expectations. EE Care so intensely that you are willing to let them learn that they control their world and that the solutions to most problems lie within their devel- oping wisdom. 381 BuildingResilience4e.indb 381 3/5/20 2:02 PM
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